You don’t need any “Pick-Up-Lines” to get to know someone, because humans naturally want to be together. You don’t need “secret seduction techniques” to meet someone because all humans naturally want to make love. You don’t need “lots of effort” to find someone because humans naturally belong together. Humans gravitate toward each other. Loneliness means you are putting a lot of effort into denying the reality of human nature and interaction. You don’t need the Belief that “all the good ones are taken” because there are so many out there and they are all interesting human beings. You don’t need to first look like a Superstar because you will naturally attract what is best for you. The “law of attraction” means that energy attracts like energy, that what you experience as reality is no coincidence but happens in accordance with your thoughts and feelings, in a match with the energy you radiate into the world. The only thing you need for Flirting is to now how to apply energy attractor-fields properly. This sounds mystical but it is very practical.
All these books and seminars for Men on “Pick-Up-Artists” and “NLP Techniques for Seduction” don’t have a clue what women want. Not a clue, really. Women want to be appreciated for what they are. The last thing they want is someone spouting memorized pick-up-lines. All these books and Seminars for Women on “Finding a Soulmate” and “Attracting the Right Partner” are often not appropriate for the mere wish to have a flirt and a good time. All this over-hyped expectation about “Soulmates” can block the natural flow of Flirt because you are constantly running on an image in your mind rather than what is happening right in front of you. That’s not to say I don’t believe in soulmates. I certainly do, but those come all by themselves, without you having to read up on them. Whether you are a Man or a Woman, this article will help you clear-out popularized misconceptions about Flirting and help you become a Superflirt.
1. Always Begin Everything by Loving Yourself First
You can only be rejected if you have rejected yourself first. You can only fear rejection if you have de-valued yourself first. If you approve of, love, appreciate and respect yourself not only will you radiate differently by which others will also appreciate and respect you, but even in instances that they do reject you, it wont matter – because you are not needy of their attention. Once you happily go into Communication with others without fear of rejection – meaning you are OK whether you get “rejected” or not – you are free. You will have no fear and can be the natural and humorous human being that you were meant to be. To top it off you can save yourself some time and money on silly Seminars on finding Partners or becoming a Flirt. If you are not afraid to go out there and talk to people, if you no longer require their attention and approval, you become courageous and playful.
2. Flirt is Spontaneous
Flirt happens spontaneously out of the Now-Scenario. It is not scripted, prepared, pondered, thought about, practised Trying to practice it or “learn its rules” can make you a flirt-disabled for life. Trying to apply “techniques”; “pick-up-lines” and “following the rules of Flirt” or any such nonsense is actually the opposite of what Flirt is. The more you think about it, the more you have lost Flow. There is nothing to think about. Humans are attracted to each other by nature. They talk. They look at each other. And then they fall for each other, or not. If they don’t, each goes along their merry way. If they do, then best wishes to them! When you are spontaneous then your behaviour and speech are not pre-conceived, censored or considered. Instead you are guided by “The Force”, the “Universe” and say just the right things at just the right times. And “just the right things” cannot be planned. “Just the right things” arise from the present moment. By being present with the other person, meaning that you have your attention with the other person rather than preoccupied with your thoughts and yourself, you more easily allow for spontaneity. If you remember only one thing from this article let it be the word Spontaneous. Life is a game, a stage, there is nothing to fear. Begin talking spontaneously. Approach someone spontaneously. Ask someone out spontaneously. Do something different than expected -spontaneously. The best things in life arise without you having planned them. “You plan, God laughs”.
In my life I have learned to do many things spontaneously. Whether I hold a speech, conduct coaching with students or record audio-lessons, it’s all done without preparation. I learned to let myself be guided by more competent forces (The Universe!) many years ago. All of my recordings and Meditations that people purchase were spoken without a script and without knowing what I was going to say beforehand. This article was written spontaneously, without an outline or a plan. And that’s why people enjoy and benefit from my books and recordings in different ways than they benefit from other works. My works are not blocked my calculating or strategizing or worrying about who is going to read them. I speak spontaneously. And the very same applies to Flirt. Just start looking. Or just start talking. Or just start walking. Or just start smiling. Its as easy as that, it really is.
4. Four Types of Energy-Flow
a) You are not interest, the other is not interested (neutral)
b) You are not interested, the other is interested (push)
c) You are interested, the other is not interested (pull)
d) You are interested, the other is interested (attraction)
Position a is the easiest for most people because there are hardly push-or pull energies involved. You are mostly disinterested to the point that you don’t even notice these people when you go out. Insecure people sometimes strike up conversations with them because its so easy to – all the while wishing they could talk to their “target”. Sometimes, because there is no desire or resistance involved, they want nothing from you, you want nothing from them, conversations can become quite humorous and good.
Position b is not as painful as position c. Most are flattered by it. They enjoy getting others attention and rejecting it. If the other becomes too “sticky” it can become unpleasant. In some cases, if you reduce your own resistance and prejudice aversion or repulsion can turn into attraction. Its not an impossibility.
Position c is the one most people are afraid of, the one that can be “painful”. However, if you have practised to Love yourself it will be less hurting and instead just a simple fact of life. By not having it be painful at all sometimes you can even reverse the energy so that the other develops a real interest in you. Its not an impossibility.
Position d is the ideal state, mutual attraction, mutual appreciation. Being able to recognize people you are in this position with, by nature, is part of the Art of Flirting. Can you enter a room full of people and immediately make out who might potentially be a “class c” person and who wouldn’t? I can. It is known from the first time you see someone. This information is not processed by the normal intellect, it is “received in an instant” by your energy-sense, by your body. One intuitively reads both the unseen energy-field and the physical expression of that energy-field (a persons looks) to know whether there is a match or not. People who have been indoctrinated by advertisement on who and what is supposedly “attractive” can have their perception impeded sometimes. Someone “looking attractive” is not necessarily an energetic match. He/She can be, but doesn’t have to be. Cont go by what your mind thinks is good for you, go by what you really feel. Whether you are looking for Romance or Sex, you’ll have a much better time if you follow your heart. So much better.
5. Having Energy is attractive
How attractive you are has nothing to do with being a “Flirt Artist”. It does have something to do with your appearance, your health, the state of your body. Some protest and say “Yes, but aren’t inner values more important?” Such questions are usually asked by those insecure about their looks. Outside appearance is a reflection of your inner state. That means I can tell just by looking at you what your true inner state is. Inner values are important but they also create your outside appearance. I can read your character and what kind of life you have led, in your face. So outside appearance is important. That is not to say you should force yourself to look like Glamour Magazines would prescribe you to look. It is to say that you should take could care of your appearance so that you are reasonably pleasant to look at and be with. How something thinks he can attract someone clean looking while himself looking unclean is beyond me. You have to yourself represent what you are looking for. You never get what you “want” in life, you get who you are.
Most important is happiness. If you are full of energy, whether you show that or not, it is contagious. People feel naturally attracted to you. People like to gather around warmth. Radiate warmth rather than looking for it. Radiate love rather than looking for it. Provide attention rather than looking for it. Give interest rather than looking for it. Every time you fall into the trap of seeking something or waiting for something or wanting something from the other, stop right there and let go. Move to giving that rather than wanting it.
If you would like to have support in releasing fears while creatively visualizing flirt-success I highly recommend my audio-recording “Reality Creation for Flirt” available at www.realitycreation.org. If you enjoyed this article pass it on to someone who could make good use of it.